Archive for the ‘Barack Obama’ Category
The U.S. is ecstatic. The world has breathed a sigh of relief. And what a historic event! The first black man has been elected to the highest office in the land.
But this just in… Sarah Failin Palin would like me to remind you that it would have been a historic election if the McCain / Palin ticket won. No, not because McCain would have been the oldest. And not because Sarah Failin would have been the first female VP.
No, a McCain /Failin win would have been historic because it would have taken the Bush/Cheney “war mongering” dumb-as-a-brick adminstration to a whole new level.
Aren’t you glad we didn’t elect, McCain, who crashed planes and graduated at the bottom of his class? And aren’t you glad we didn’t elect Sarah Failin, who still doesn’t even know what a vice president DOES?
*whew*
Congratulations to Barack Obama… and to AMERICA!
Governor Failin seems to relish her role as the McCain campaign attack dog.
Saying things like Obama is “palling around with terrorists” slides off her tongue as easily as a pig sliding down a greased chute.
Saying things like, “he’s not like us” and “he doesn’t see America the way we do” sets up an ugly “us and them” contrast — as if Obama (“them”) is a closet terrorist and the “us” are the white, hardworking Americans.
All of this naturally lead to rowdy rallies where McCain and Palin’s audience yelled things like “terrorist” and “traitor” and “treason” and “off with his head” with regards to Obama. It also resulted in racial slurs being hurled at an unsuspecting TV network crew member.
No one was surprised, save for the feigned surprise of the McCain camp.
But now there’s new evidence that perhaps the reason Sarah Failin Palin so relishes her role as attack dog — why she relishes whipping racists into a frenzy and setting up an “us” and “them” contrast — is perhaps because she’s had her own troubles with the African-American community. Maybe Sarah Palin is a racist.
Consider this…
Sarah Failin Palin refused to hire minority staffers.
Sarah Palin refused to allow black business leaders sit on the Alaskan oil and gas pipeline board.
And worse yet, she’s the first Alaskan Governor to not recognize the Juneteenth celebration of the emancipation proclamation.
Why?
Perhaps she thinks black people aren’t “like us.” Perhaps she thinks black people don’t “see America the way you and I do.”
Perhaps Governor Sarah Palin is someone who’s racist feelings are finally being revealed…
What do you think? Is Sarah Palin a racist?
My Fellow Alaskans Americans,
Let’s face it — emotions are getting over heated at rallies and around the Internet. Things are getting out of hand. It’s time for some Straight Talk (which is the only kind we’ll allow around here, as Governor Sarah Failin would like to ban gay-themed books).
You’re scared. You’re watching the stock market plunge and your 401k right along with it. You got job worries. The price of milk keeps you up at night.
And then Ol’ Man McCain and I have added to your fears by putting forth the idea that Obama is a terrorist — or at least he pals around with them.
So what’s the truth?
Let’s look at a few of your top worries:
You’re worried Obama is a socialist.
Let’s define socialism so we’re all on the same page…
From Wikipedia: Socialists mainly share the belief that capitalism unfairly concentrates power and wealth into a small section of society who control capital, and creates an unequal society. All socialists advocate the creation of an egalitarian society, in which wealth and power are distributed more evenly, although there is considerable disagreement among socialists over how, and to what extent this could be achieved.
American people, don’t worry about Obama. If socialism scares the bediddles out of you, then you should be scared of me, not Obama. After all, I (Governor Sarah Failin Palin) am the one who got sky-high approval ratings in Alaska by giving every Alaskan resident a nice check from the oil companies.
That’s right — I took money from the rich oil companies so they’re less rich. Gawd, I’m such a socialist. Heh. And you guys are wringing your hands about Obama.
You’re worried Obama has radical ties.
Ayers, Wright, Muslim, terrorist. We like to throw words around just to plant a seed in your head that Obama has radical ties.
Tell you what — we’re just trying to distract you.
That’s because I (Governor Sarah Failin) sleeps with a terrorist person with the most radical ties of all. Todd Failin hates America so much that he was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party (AIP) for seven years. This is a group that wants Alaska to break away from America.
(Do YOU hate America so much that you want to break away from the U.S.? I didn’t think so…)
When I’m vice president, Alaskan’s secession of this cesspool of a country will be my top priority. After all, I promised my husband Todd. And since I copy him on all government emails and since he sits in on top-level meetings, he would know if I wasn’t keeping my promise.
You’re worried about Obama’s former church.
Please. I’m the looney tunes in this category. At my church I get blessings to protect me from witchcraft and we speak in tongues. I think I probably win the top award for “religulous.” (Thanks Bill M.)
You’re worried a Palin and McCain — ooops, I mean McCain and Palin adminstration won’t be a good steward of the economy.
OK, score one for you. You SHOULD be worried about your job, the price of gas and your 401k if we get into office. Give us four years and a loaf of bread will be worth more than your house.
Ol “Snakes in the Head” McCain has admitted he doesn’t know a lick about the economy. And I admit I don’t know a thing about anything.
So yeah, worry. And worry hard…
Sarah Failin Palin’s power-hungry side rears its head again! The witnesses said she could hardly contain her excitement when she thought the presidency was a step closer…
This morning, two McCain advisers were discussing the latest nasty turn the the Obama and McCain campaigns have taken and how that will play out in tonight’s Obama / McCain debate.
Adviser #1: McCain doesn’t deal well with people who question his honor. If Obama takes a jab at his honor, Senatator HotHead is likely to blow his top.
(At which point Sarah Failin Palin enters the room…)
Adviser #2, agreeing: Yes, John sure doesn’t deal well…
…And Governor Failin can barely hide her excitement as she says:
There’s the golden question — can we trust John McCain’s judgement during a crisis? For an answer, look no further than his response to the financial crisis. Now think — do you want his shaky finger on the nuke button?
Consider these diagrams of actual crisis responses from the Obama camp and the McCain camp:
