Governor Failin Palin has said she’ll be an advocate for special needs children in the White House. And in practically the next breath, she said she’d cut funding on fruit fly projects.
Some advocate. Governor Failin mustn’t realize that fruit fly research has aided autistic research greatly. But never mind, eh? I guess “special needs” only refers to kids like Trig Palin.
Here now is a list of how Failin Palin will advocate for special needs and other issues…
1. Kids who don’t know what the vice president does will get a special visit to their school from a Vice President Sarah Palin. These visits will start just as soon as someone explains to Failin Palin what a vice president does.
2. Special needs children will be defined as those whose families can’t afford $150,000 in clothing. If you can’t afford to shop at high-end stores, the Republican National Committee will take you on a shopping spree.
3. If you make up a crazy lie about getting attacked by an Obama supporter, you’ll get a sympathetic phone call from John McCain and Sarah Palin. The phone call will go something like this, “It’s ok you lied. We lie all the time too. By the way — would you like a Cabinent position?”
4. If you don’t have a Christian God, a minister will be appointed to you until such time that you fully believe… or at least until you start voting Republican. After all, Palin herself says, “God will do the right thing for America” on November 4th.
5. If you don’t live in the Pro-America — AKA the “real” parts of this country — and yet you want to vote for McCain / Palin, then your moving expenses will be paid for in full by a McCain/Palin adminstration.